I was a very creative child...
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All I can say in defense of myself is...nothing. I was a shamelessly creative child when it came to making up excuses. I don't think I ever used the classic 'The dog ate my homework!' I was much more inventive than that. One excuse stands out at me the most, and that one was hilarious. When i was a kid, i had a horrible mouth. Not a dirty mouth, like, I cursed a lot, but the bone formation was all off. So from the age of seven I had all kinds of appliances shoved, glued, cemented, and modled into my mouth. My orthodontist, the venerable Dr. Nunn, was very patient with me, thank the Lord. Back to my most remembered excuse:
I had a palate expander, this metal thing that was cememted to the roof of my mouth and my back molars, because my jaw was too narrow to allow for proper tooth growth. My mom or dad had to, every night, turn this little crank to expand the machinery a fraction of an inch, to gradually make my palate wider. That waxs still possible, since my jaw was still growing and forming. Well, they used this little key-like thing to turn the crank, and let me tell you, it hurt like a MOTHER after they had done the alotted two rotations. One night, I decided that it hurt too much, so I found the key, and stuck it in my mouth and loosened the crank. Well, three days later I had an orthodontist appointment, and Dr. Nunn saw how loose my palate expander was. When he asked me how it had gotten that loose, because he was genuinely puzzled, I gave him a brilliant answer.
"Well Dr. Nunn, my mom and dad got tired of always having to turn the crank every night, so they told my little sister, Alyse, to do it. I guess she must have cranked it the wrong way!"
At this, he was obviously skeptical, because he knew my parents better than that. He continued with his examination, then after the appointment, he brought my mom and me into his office and told her what I had told him. They both got a very good laugh, after he relayed my story, and I was sitting there, utterly confused. Why were they laughing? Then Dr. Nunn declared that he could write a book with all hte excuses that he's gotten from patients for not wearing their retainers, or doing what they were supposed to, but my excuse would be by far, the best he's heard yet.
....As far as I know, the book remains unwritten. =]
I had a palate expander, this metal thing that was cememted to the roof of my mouth and my back molars, because my jaw was too narrow to allow for proper tooth growth. My mom or dad had to, every night, turn this little crank to expand the machinery a fraction of an inch, to gradually make my palate wider. That waxs still possible, since my jaw was still growing and forming. Well, they used this little key-like thing to turn the crank, and let me tell you, it hurt like a MOTHER after they had done the alotted two rotations. One night, I decided that it hurt too much, so I found the key, and stuck it in my mouth and loosened the crank. Well, three days later I had an orthodontist appointment, and Dr. Nunn saw how loose my palate expander was. When he asked me how it had gotten that loose, because he was genuinely puzzled, I gave him a brilliant answer.
"Well Dr. Nunn, my mom and dad got tired of always having to turn the crank every night, so they told my little sister, Alyse, to do it. I guess she must have cranked it the wrong way!"
At this, he was obviously skeptical, because he knew my parents better than that. He continued with his examination, then after the appointment, he brought my mom and me into his office and told her what I had told him. They both got a very good laugh, after he relayed my story, and I was sitting there, utterly confused. Why were they laughing? Then Dr. Nunn declared that he could write a book with all hte excuses that he's gotten from patients for not wearing their retainers, or doing what they were supposed to, but my excuse would be by far, the best he's heard yet.
....As far as I know, the book remains unwritten. =]