English Pronounciation

9:34 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
Note: I did not write this. I found it randomly and really enjoyed it. The author was not noted on the page it was on. to fully enjoy this poem, you must read it out loud. I suggest you do. enjoy =]

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sleeve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew
Stephen,Monkey, donkey,
Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,I
slington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!

School Days

9:05 AM Edit This 5 Comments »
I walk into the room
and its all there
I take it all for granted
it never seems to change

All the students
sitting peacefully at their desks
bent over their work
or maybe sleeping, waiting for class to start

I sit down, the desk is cold under me
my mouth is dry and sticky
an unfortunate result of my toothpaste
I take a swig of water - refreshment

Announcements start on the overhead
nobody really pays attention
we say our pledge, hand over heart
and the school day begins

Merry Christmas and Happy 2009!!

12:10 AM Edit This 1 Comment »


My absolutely adorable cousin Anna, who is 6 and 1/2, at my grandparents with us the day after Christmas. She is just....the cutest thing there is. EVER.

I was a very creative child...

9:04 AM Edit This 7 Comments »
All I can say in defense of myself is...nothing. I was a shamelessly creative child when it came to making up excuses. I don't think I ever used the classic 'The dog ate my homework!' I was much more inventive than that. One excuse stands out at me the most, and that one was hilarious. When i was a kid, i had a horrible mouth. Not a dirty mouth, like, I cursed a lot, but the bone formation was all off. So from the age of seven I had all kinds of appliances shoved, glued, cemented, and modled into my mouth. My orthodontist, the venerable Dr. Nunn, was very patient with me, thank the Lord. Back to my most remembered excuse:
I had a palate expander, this metal thing that was cememted to the roof of my mouth and my back molars, because my jaw was too narrow to allow for proper tooth growth. My mom or dad had to, every night, turn this little crank to expand the machinery a fraction of an inch, to gradually make my palate wider. That waxs still possible, since my jaw was still growing and forming. Well, they used this little key-like thing to turn the crank, and let me tell you, it hurt like a MOTHER after they had done the alotted two rotations. One night, I decided that it hurt too much, so I found the key, and stuck it in my mouth and loosened the crank. Well, three days later I had an orthodontist appointment, and Dr. Nunn saw how loose my palate expander was. When he asked me how it had gotten that loose, because he was genuinely puzzled, I gave him a brilliant answer.
"Well Dr. Nunn, my mom and dad got tired of always having to turn the crank every night, so they told my little sister, Alyse, to do it. I guess she must have cranked it the wrong way!"
At this, he was obviously skeptical, because he knew my parents better than that. He continued with his examination, then after the appointment, he brought my mom and me into his office and told her what I had told him. They both got a very good laugh, after he relayed my story, and I was sitting there, utterly confused. Why were they laughing? Then Dr. Nunn declared that he could write a book with all hte excuses that he's gotten from patients for not wearing their retainers, or doing what they were supposed to, but my excuse would be by far, the best he's heard yet.
....As far as I know, the book remains unwritten. =]

Hello, This is a bit Late..

4:57 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
Heyy everyone. So this post is about a week late, but I'm probably the biggest procrastinator in the class. This post was supposed to be posted last week on Thursday, but I was absent and have been putting it off since then. Anyway....
Bonjour mon classe! Cette est Chrissy, et cette est mon page! Maria va peut-etre correct mon grammaire dans cette post, parce-que je parle franglais, pas francais.
...And that's as far as I got. LOL. Brind on the criticism, Maria! Just kidding, I know you'd only correct the many grammatical mistakes I made. And, that's about it. I really don't have anything to say, and as soon as I get the time, I will start posting my creative writing assignments! Ta-ta!

Who's On First??

9:05 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Who's On First?
Abbott: Well Costello, I’m going to New York with you. You know, Bucky Harris, the Yank’s manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you’re on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you’re the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: Right, certainly do.
Costello: Well, I never met the guys, so you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know who’s playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know strange as it may seem, they give these ball players now a days, very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names. Like, Dizzy Dean, and…
Costello: His brother Daffy?
Abbott: Daffy Dean.
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofe’.
Abbott: Goofe’ Dean, oh I see! Well let’s see, we have on the bags, we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know is on third.
Costello: That’s what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say, Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know’s on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You going to be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don’t know the fellow’s names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who is on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who!
Costello: The guy playing first base.
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I’m asking you who’s on first!
Abbott: That’s the man’s name.
Costello: That’s whose name?
Abbott: Yeah.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s who?
Abbott: Yeah.
(Pause)
Costello: Look, you got a first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who’s playing first?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets the money.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: Who gets the money on first base?
Abbott: He does, every dollar! Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes. (Pause) What’s wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name to the contract?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign it?
Abbott: That’s how he signs it!
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
(Pause)
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.
Abbott: No, what’s on second base.
Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well don’t change the players around!
Costello: I’m not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: All I’m asking you, who’s the guy on first base?!
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: Okay.
Abbott: Alright.
(Pause)
Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?!
Abbott: No, What is on second!
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second!
Abbott: Who’s on first.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: Oh, he’s on third. We’re not talking about him. Now let’s get back to first.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Well you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say’s playing third?
Abbott: No, Who’s playing first.
Costello: What’s on first?
Abbott: What’s on second.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: He’s on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again! Will you stay on third base and don’t go off it?
Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who’s playing third base?!
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third?!
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: You don’t want who on second?!
Abbott: No, Who is on first.
Costello: I don’t know!
Both: Third base!
(Pause)
Costello: Look, you got outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder’s name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.
Abbott: Well I just thought I’d tell you.
Costello: Then tell me who is playing left field.
Abbott: Who is playing first.
Costello: I’m not…Stay out of the infield! I want to know, what’s the guy’s name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.
Abbott: No, Who is on first.
Costello: I don’t know.
Both: Third base!
(Pause)
Costello: And left fielder’s name?
Abbott: Why!
Costello: Because.
Abbott: No, he’s center field.
Costello: (Fumbles words loudly)
Abbott: Well that’s the fellow’s name.
Costello: Look, look, look, you got a pitcher?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher’s name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don’t want to tell me today?
Abbott: I’m telling you then.
Costello: Well go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: At what time tomorrow are you going to tell me who’s pitching?
Abbott: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on…
Costello: I’ll break your arm you say who’s on first! I want to know, what’s the pitcher’s name?
Abbott: What’s on second!
Costello: I don’t know!
Both: Third base!
(Pause)
Costello: Got a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher’s name.
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today? And tomorrow’s pitching?
Abbott: Now you’ve got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. You know, I’m a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate, do some fancy catching. Tomorrow’s pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Now, the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball, and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that’s the first thing that you’ve said right.
Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!
Abbott: Well that’s all you have to do!
Costello: Is throw the ball to first base?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Now who’s got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
(Pause)
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody’s got to get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally?
Abbott: No you don’t! You throw the ball to Who!
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That’s different.
Costello: That’s what I said.
Abbott: You’re not saying that.
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally?
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s what I said!
Abbott: Listen, you ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: Same as you!
Abbott: You just changed them around.
Costello: Same as you! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball, the guy runs to second, who picks up the ball, throw’s it to what, what throw’s it to I don’t know, I don’t know throw’s it back to tomorrow, triple play!
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Another guy gets up, and it’s a long fly ball to because. Why? I don’t know, he’s on third, and I don’t give a darn!
Abbott: Oh…What?
Costello: I said, I don’t give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that’s our short stop.
Costello: (Fumbles words loudly)

Thanksgivingg

4:13 AM Edit This 5 Comments »
Heyyy. So two days ago was Thanksgiving! The turkey was delicious, the mashed potatoes melted in my mouth, and the pumpkin pies (that I made, totally and completely) were heavenly. I went up to my cousin's house in Hillsborough, and everyone was home from college. It was great seeing everyone. But: where there is a family gathering, there is the inevitable family gossip. UGH.
I drove up there, and in the first ten minutes, I made a bad traffic-related decision(yellow lights, red lights, green lights, they're all relative right? lol) then in one intersection that I'd never driven before, the lanes are all jumbled and I couldn't tell which was turn and which was straight. You know that expression, 'Everybody HATES a backseat driver'? Yeah. My mom was screaming at me from the back seat, "WRONG LANE! SPEED UP OR YOU'LL NEVER MAKE THE LIGHT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? SLOW DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE!! WHY DID YOU TRY TO MAKE THAT LIGHT?!? YOU WERE OUT OF CONTROL! PULL THE CAR OVER IMMEDIATELY!!" -all in a matter of maybe, 20 seconds. Generally, I'm a good driver, but with her screeching in my ear, anyone would get distracted. Good Lord. For the rest of the hour and twenty minute trip, I was the model of cautious, defensive driving. But, the only thing that was told was, WE NEARLY DIED! ...Feeding the gossip mill.